It’s quiet here on the blog. Quieter than it ever has been. I don’t mind it though. It feels nice to relinquish the obligatory guilt I’ve felt for years now to explain my life out on the internet. No one asserted this pressure onto me, but yet it was incessant. I think, initially, it gave me an outlet- a distraction of sorts, so I could focus on something other than actively engaging in my eating disorder. In retrospect, blogging about my eating disorder certainly was not the best choice interns of healthy distractions, but I would not be where I am today if it were not for where this blog and my recovery account has led me.
The last time I showed up here on the blog, I felt helpless. I had no control over my emotions, and I had an all out terrible experience with the birth control I was on. I looked around at the life I had, which is privileged, beautiful, blessed, full, and I felt nothing. That was not right.
I read over your comments and coupled with the incredible support of my boyfriend, I made some proactive changes. I got off birth control, I cut back on my academic work a lot, and I started going outside more. I broke free from the constant work grind and went out on a few dates with my boyfriend. I lingered around my classes. I made friends with a few new people I sat by.