Last week, I cleaned out my childhood bedroom. This is the first time I’m staying here in the room for the entire summer since moving away to college, so rather than let myself live in cramped quarters for the entire summer, I somewhat attempted to clean up and declutter.
During that time, I came across old journals and notebooks. One of the notebooks in particular chronicled my time during my eating disorder. I don’t have the courage to open that notebook up yet, as I’m sure those thoughts are the epitome of the darkness held within me. That notebook does not contain the time of my recovery. It contains the time when my eating disorder was active and raging, in full control. I will open up that notebook one day, but not today is not that day. [Read more…]